Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Portion Control

Yeah I don't know what I'm going to do they are upping the prices on flour and sauce and everything.
John looked at AL of AL's Pizzeria. He had stopped to chat after he picked up his pizza. It was a good stress reliever standing in the pizzeria after a long day shooting the shit with a guy in an apron.
Well I'm sure people will still come if you keep the quality up.
Maybe...but I might have to raise prices.
John went to his car and drove home . A week later he called to order a pizza and a snippy woman on the phone answered.
Yes. Id like no cheese on the pizza.
No cheese...whadaya mean?
My wife and I don't like cheese on the pizza but we would like extra sauce
That will cost you extra.
Well...I'm not having cheese....cant you swap one for another.
No. I cant. And the veggies are going to cost you extra too.
Ok fine.
John put his order in and then thirty minutes later he picked up his pizza. The owner AL wasn't there. The dark haired woman from the phone gave him his pizza.
That will be twenty eight dollars.
Wow...
Yeah. We had to increase our prices she said taking his credit car.
John drove home and brought the pizza inside. He opened the box and stared.
What the fuck!
His wife came up and stared.
What did they do?
The pizza was thin like a cracker with barely any sauce and a few veggies.
I know what he did. He cranked up his prices and cut back on his ingredients.
John dialed up the pizzeria. The woman answered.
Yes. I just picked up my pizza and it looks horrible. It is thin with very little sauce and practically no veggies.
Yeah so. We always put the same amount on.
But this is terrible and you increased the price...I want to talk to AL.
Sure.
The phone went dead.
May I help you.
Yeah Al. It's John. We just got our pizza and its razor thin with nothing on it and you charged me more.
Yeah. I told you I was getting screwed by my suppliers.
But you are screwing your customers John cried out.
Hey. Its portion controlled. And you know I always take time out and talk to you when you come in when I could be doing my work. So just look at it like you are paying for my time.
What! Are you crazy! I was just shooting the shit with you!
Yeah. Well shoot it somewhere else then.
The phone went dead. John hung it up slowly. He looked at the pizza.
What did he say?
He said it was portion controlled. He paused and looked at his wife.
You know. I'm going to really miss talking to AL
She stared at him.
Who?

www.williamhazelgrove.com

 

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