Thursday, May 16, 2013

Stealing

His bike didn't look right. No. It was pointed down. John left the coffee house and ran out to the bike rack.
Shit!
They had stolen his front tire. Somebody had ripped the front tire because he didn't put his chain through the wheel. So now he couldn't ride home.
Shit!
John looked around and saw another bike like his. A Trek. He glanced around again.
Fuck it he muttered and ducked down and pulled off the wheel from the bike. He eased the bike to the ground and slipped it on his front forks.
Take that he muttered One good turn deservers another.  He unchained his bike and rode home and made sure to lock up his bike somewhere else. A week later he was at a different coffee house and had just finished when he looked out again. He stared. Where was his bike? He ran outside and saw the stolen tire from the other bike chained to the rack but the bike was gone.
Shit!
He had chained the front tire but forgot to put it through the frame. He stared at the stolen tire chained to the rack. John looked around but no one was stupid enough not to chain their bike frames.
Shit!
He walked home and stole a kids bike off a back porch that someone stole from him a week later after they used bolt cutters on his chain.

www.williamhazelgrove.com
 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Privacy

Tony was crazy about his privacy. So when he found out Robin the new girl lived in his neighborhood he was careful to never mention where he lived. She was a twenty something who had moved in with her boyfriends parents. Tony did not want to mix the two worlds. Work was work and he kept his separate self for the home. Who he really was.
Ding dong.
Tony was in his pajamas. He pulled the door open and there was Robin.
Is this your dog?'
Tony stared at his black lab.
Yes he sputtered.
He came to our house. This is Jack my boyfriend.
Tony felt the wind through his pajamas. Jack and Robin were both smiling at him.
Thank you he muttered taking the dog.
See you tomorrow at work.
Tony shut the door and felt violated. He locked up the dog. The next day Robin laughed.
I never thought I would see you in your pajamas she sang out in the office.
Tony hid in his cubicle. A week later the door bell rang again.
Hello is this your dog?
Tony was in workout Gortex and faced a woman about his age.
Yes...he muttered.
You work with Robin right?
Yes.
I thought so....well here.
Tony took the dog inside. The next day Robin came up to him.
You met my mother in law.
Yes.
She said you were working out.
Yeah.
Robin shrugged. 
It kind of sucks living with her.
Tony paused.
Why is that?
Oh you know...no privacy.

Rocket Man...the American Dream upside down
 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Burning Leaves

Dan always came into ninth grade choir smelling like burnt leaves. Toby was a baritone and Dan was a baritone but Toby always felt like Dan sang down a few octaves. They shared the same music stand and Toby flipped the music while Dan hunched down and sang into the floor. Toby always told Dan the same thing.
I think you are too low.
Dan always just shrugged and said whatever man.
But Toby wondered about the burned leaves. First of all choir was first period. That would mean Dan got up and started raking leaves about what...six AM? And then burned them for an hour before getting to school. It was plausible.
A couple times Toby had to compensate for Dan because his voice was so raspy. Another thing was Dan would spit with a phit phit sound. Like he had a sunflower seed stuck in his teeth or something. And the burned leave smell really came on when they hit the heavy duty choral numbers. Dan smelled like he had inhaled the smoke from the leaves. So he asked him one day.
Hey Dan.
Yo.
Do you like  burn leaves or something in the morning...I mean no offence but your clothes really smell like burned leaves.
Dan looked at Toby with blood shot eyes  then smiled.
Yeah man. I burn leaves in the morning.
Oh just wondering.
It wasn't until college that Toby realized Dan had been stoned to the bone every day.

Rocket Man...the American Dream upside down

Burnouts

I wasn't a burn out but went out to the smoking lounge sometimes. I was a jock who walked all walks of life. Sonny was a burnout. Neil Young burnout with long hair and fatigue jacket. We were about to graduate and Sonny got off at our bus stop.
Brother H. You want to participate?
Sure.
Are you sure brother H? Have you ever partaken?
No...I said but it was the end of senior year.
We met another burnout named Miles at Sonny's house and went to his basement.
Brother H is going to join us in our celebration.
Miles had a beard and dark  glasses. A known hardcore stoner.
Very good he said.
We passed around a joint and I laid on the ground while Sonny and Miles laughed.
Can you play that song again?
Sure brother H.
Stairway to Heaven was cued up for the tenth time.
My body is electric I said while Robert Plant told about the girl climbing the stairway to heaven.
Miles and Sonny broke up and continued smoking.
After graduation I never saw Sonny again. At our twenty year reunion he came back in a Porche. He had  started his own golf equipment company and was a multimillionaire.

Rocket Man...the American dream upside down