Monday, March 11, 2013

Eat What You Kill

Gina had written a novel about trolls. She wrote lots of novels about trolls in her bedroom.  No one wanted them. She self published one and went to the Borders to see if they might put it in the store. She walked in and was very nervous and saw a very slim girl with literary glasses. She looked like an author to Gina. Or someone who would work at the New Yorker. She took a deep breath and walked up to the desk.
Hello...I was wondering if the manager was in.
The girl was putting away books and looked harried.
I'm a manager. What can I help you with?
Gina swallowed.
Well. I wrote this book on trolls. Actually I wrote a lot of them and I was wondering if you might put this one in your store on consignment.
The bookstore woman sniffed and looked at her book.
Let me see it.
Gina handed her the book.
You published this yourself?
Gina nodded.
The woman flipped the book over and tipped up her glasses.
We don't sell self published novels. Or POD novels. And I would certainly get a different cover if I were you. That one is pretty cheesy.
She handed the book back to Gina and returned to stacking books. Gina walked out of the store with her face very red. She felt like she wanted to hide. She went home and stayed in her room and didn't come out for two days. She felt like the whole world was laughing at her. She stayed depressed for a month then uploaded her books onto the Kindle site at Amazon. She offered all five of the troll novels for .99 cents a piece.
 Six months later she made a million dollars from her sales of trolls novels. She told the New York Times  she wasn't going to move out of her room in her parents house.
 Borders filed for bankruptcy and vanished before the year was out.


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