Thursday, February 14, 2013

Team Player

Everyone knew Matthew was going to get canned but Matthew. And since I was Matthew's partner I had to go with him to Tony's office. Matthew had pissed off all the processors and nobody wanted to work with him anymore. I knew this from our last job. It happened. Matthew farted a lot and sometimes left the door open when he defecated. People couldn't believe it but in Germany it was considered very normal.

So in Tony's office I sat next to Matthew and Jim sat to the right and Tony across from us. I tried to read from Tony's eyes if he was going to fire Matthew. People have a look when they are going to terminate someone. Sort of a firing squad look. Jim really really hated Matthew and he really wanted him terminated. Right there. Right now. It was because Jim was always telling Matthew not to leave his Subway wrappers on the floor inside his cube. Matthew just stared at him
Vy. It doesn't hurt anybody.
Its not professional Jim reminded him.
Its my cube. I can leave garbage on the floor.
Jim said Matthew was not a team player. He wasn't coachable. He said you are either coachable or a team player. If you were neither of these things then a change had to be made. Corporate speak for terminate. Jim managed the branch and Tony managed everything else.
Matthew. Your files are terrible. None of the processors want to work with you Tony began
Vy. My files are no worse than anybody else Matthew pointed out.
Tony was big and stressed. Dark circles grew under Tony's eyes every day. He had five kids and a really big house. Like Warren Buffet big and everyone said the house had to be killing him. He loved to talk about terminating people when he got stressed.
Matthew. You have been warned repeatedly and yet you haven't changed. I don't think you are a team player.
I am a team player. I have changed Matthew said picking his large German beard.
No. You haven't. I don't think you care. Again, you are either coachable or a team player. I  don't think you are either. I don't think you care.
I care Matthew said.
I could tell Tony was sharpening the axe. I mean I didn't really care in a way. We were brokers and could just start somewhere else but the whole getting settled into new cubes was kind of a drag. Also they kept your money a lot of times when you leave. So I intervened.
Tony. I will make sure Matthew puts in good files from now on.
I don't think he will do it Jim said.
Jim really really hated Matthew. He was super anal and Matthew was a slob and emitted gas and ate garlic and really stunk. Jim hated people like that.
I'm on it. I'll make sure he changes I persisted.
Jim and Tony stared at me and I put on my best sincere face. We had been down this road before. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.
Tony stood up.
I'm really stressed and I don't need this shit.
I understand.
Matthew grunted.
The meeting ended.

We went to get a cup of coffee at McDonalds.
They are assholes Matthew said in German.
Ya. I said. But they want to fire you.
So. We can get another job.
You have to do better with the files.
The processors hate me it doesn't matter.
That's true. But we have to try.
Matthew shrugged. He was very German. I thought maybe we might stay a little longer after Tony had a heart attack and died, but they made Jim the regional manager. He said Matthew wasn't a team player and fired him. I went the next day.
Matthew and I are team players.
Rocket Man...the upside down American dream


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