Saturday, February 9, 2013


My brother could do anything he wanted. He was the artist in the family. Then he became the Professor. I became mainstream. When we got together at Berghoffs over Christmas we all laughed and drank beer. My dad still had to work because he told his bosses to fuck off all the time. He told his wives the same thing. He was seventy nine and still had to work. We were from the South and we all took pride in never taking anything off of anybody.
I tell you. You start to wonder if anybody cares about what you devoted your life too.
I looked at my dad and could feel it coming. He always did this.
Teddy is the only one who did anything with his life.
 I quit eating and waited.
I mean, here lies a glue salesman. That's what they'll say about me at the end.
I waited.
And here lies a man who sold real estate he said to me .
I waited.
And here is a man who devoted himself to making the world a better place by teaching young people.
I had it.
Dad. I've been a working writer for twenty years.
Oh I know son. I know. But its not what you are do now.
Dad you never recognized my writing.
Well we all have our hobbies son
I let it go.
I've been listening to this shit from you for fifty fucking years dad. Ted could do anything he fucking wanted and it was ok but if I did anything else you just didn't fucking see it. I'M A FUCKING WRITER DAD. A WRITER. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT BY NOW!
I had been yelling and everyone was staring. Dad and I didn't speak then for the rest of the meal. My brother didn't say anything. We all went our separate ways after that. On the train my dad called me and said he was sorry. He asked about my next book. I went home to my family and Ted went home to his third wife. After that he screwed a co-ed and lost his tenure. I went back to selling real estate.
Dad went back to his wife who had to support him with a retail job because he didn't have a pension.
Rocket Man...the upside down American Dream

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