Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Online Dating

Claude sat in the Denny's booth and watched people walking in. He felt his heart. Love did this to you. Your heart. The sweaty palms. The funny fluttery feeling in your stomach. Yes. He was in love. He had been married twenty years and had forgotten what love was. Not the old obligatory love but the kind he felt when he was in high school. He found himself humming all the time now.
He looked up to a pimply girl with a nose stud and bright red hair. She was bigger than he was. Claude stared at her with the coffee steaming below.
I'm Julie...are you Claude?
His mouth opened.
She slid into he booth chomping gum and smirked.
Oh you mean because of my pictures. Yeah. I figured you wouldn't respond if I put my real picture on she said clasping Goth nails. But I'm still the same person Claude you have been talking to for the last year.
But... He felt a hollowness sin his soul. You never were that...person? names not Julie either. Its Heather. That was this Julie bitch who is stuck up twatty cheerleaders photo I lifted. Heather raised her eyebrows. But what the fuck. I'm the same little highschooler you've been lusting after with your horny bullshit.
Claude was sweating.
I'm sorry. But I...cant really do this. You were dishonest with me.
Heather frowned.
Oh fuckng come on!You re the one with the family meeting fifteen year old high school girls at Dennys. Whose being dishonest here, Claude.
He felt his heart beating against his chest. Sweat broke out all over his body.
I can't do this...I am sorry. I have to leave.
Heather flashed him. The phone flash stunned Claude and he saw nothing. Then she came around the booth and jammed herself next to him.
No you don't Claude she said putting her toungue against his ear.
What...what the hell are you doing!
She held the camera up. Flash .He was blinded again.
Claude stared at her as she went back to his side of the booth.
Heather took out her gum and tapped her camera.
Lets see...yeah...I think I'll share this to Facebook.
Claude felt himself burning up.
You cant do this--please don't!
Oh and guess who friended me yesterday. Your wife. I thought you might turn into a shithead when you saw me.
Claude felt the blood leave his face.
What do you want...I will do anything....
Heather sat back in the booth and stared at him.
You're an asshole. I really liked you Claude.
I'm sorry. I was just in shock. You are a very attractive young woman...I think we can continue with our relationship. I do...really.
Heather stared at him then slung her backpack up and stood up.
Fuck you Claude.
No...please sit down he pleaded, starting to cry. I'll lose my family!
Heather held up her phone with her finger on the send button.
Maybe next time you wont be such an asshole Claude.
Heather pressed her phone and left the Denny's. She lit a cigarette outside, slushing along in the snow. She shook her head.
Guys are such assholes.
Rocket Man...the American Dream upside down


  1. You blog is eye-catching. I get pleasure from it. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece of writing with me.
    diskret fremdgehen

  2. thanks arlen...spread the word...Ill keep writing.