Saturday, February 16, 2013

Big Ten

Yeah I was just like you. Figured go to a Big Ten school and come out and get the great job, blah blah blah. You know the whole Koolaid thing you started right before the ACTs and all those practice exams. Anyway I did it. Big Ten all the way baby. Did the Sorority thing. That kind of sucked and came out expecting the great job and the big life in the city and all that. Yeah I got a job at a brokerage house and I lived the life in Chicago for a while. You know did the Lincoln Park thing and partied and wore cool clothes and then boom comes this crash.

Great Recession. And I get laid off and like I'm thinking this is no big deal. But every day my roommate Brittany goes off to work and I sit in this apartment all day and send out resumes and like for the first time things don't come easy to me. I mean like I always have had lots of guys and high school was a snap and college was a blast and now I'm sitting in this apartment for like two years! So I go through the whole depression thing because there are no jobs and Brittany gets engaged and I don't have any money to even go out and I cant handle the rent on my own so I go back home.

My mom. Yeah I'm living with her way out in the burbs and it really blows. And I still dont have a job and so like this goes on for another year and I go to shrinks to find out whats wrong with me and like now I'm getting closer and closer to thirty. No job. No guys. 120 K in debt for the Big Ten School. Whooh. Lotta good that did me. So like I don't even go outside. Major depression dude. All I want to do is eat and like I'm getting really really fat. And people are looking at me funny because its been like four years since I worked.

So finally my uncle gets me a job at  like some Shipping Company at minimum wage. And I go there and everyone is staring at me because its like the Bowling League kind of people. Everybody smokes and like talks all South side and they all think I'm a bitch and stuck up and I have to talk down because they didn't go to a Big Ten college. They didn't to to college at all. And so like its now been three years and I live in this crummy apartment down the street from my mom because I don't make enough to go back to the city and have a life.

And I did turn thirty. And I dated this moron who never went to college and that didn't work out. The guy hasn't had a job for like ever and lives with his mom. And that's pretty much my life. They say the online college is coming and all. That's what I would do if I did it over. Because like that whole Big Ten World is like gone. Except for the debt.
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