Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A Short Cop Story

So I was sitting there in my apartment of the Thai food place with the window open and I hear clank clank clank on the fire escape. Two cops walk right by me and continue going up the fire escape toward the roof. I stick my head out the window.
What's going on?
Ah...missing person. Gotta see if we can see the guy through his window this really fat cop says.
So I swing out on the fire escape because I have nothing going on the story front and its a  hot night and I'll do just about anything but face that blank screen.
You see anything the skinny cop calls up to the fat cop.
Nah...I think I got to go up to the roof.
I climb up the fire escape to the next landing and the skinny cop looks at me with this bored expression. The fat cop is already on his way up to the roof. My building is like five feet away from another building. Chicago is all jammed up like that. So the fat cop reaches the roof top and stares across.
Can you see anything the cop yells up.
No. But I think if I lean over I can see into the window the fat cops yells down.
So while the skinny cop and I are watching the fat cop leans between the two buildings like a bridge. He blocks the sky and we are looking up at his big belly.
How about now?
Yeah. I can see into the apartment. There's nobody there.
The cop next to me shrugs.
Then lets go.
The fat cop doesn't move.
Hey. I cant get back! You gotta come up here and pull me back!
The skinny cop shakes his head.
No way. I'm afraid of heights.
I'm stuck the fat cop says.
I'll go up and pull him back I say.
The skinny cop shrugs.
Suit yourself.
So I monkey up the stairs and reach the roof. The fat cop has his hands on the other ledge and is trying to look over his shoulder.
I got you I say grabbing his gun belt.
Don't let go he says.
I wont.
I hold onto his gun belt with both hands  and plant my feet., two, three!
I jerk back and the fat cop comes back with me and staggers a few feet. He turns and shakes his head.
I'm getting too old for this shit.
And then he clanks back down the fire escape with the other cop. I go down and swing into my apartment and sit down at the glowing screen. I busted out my story in a half hour.
Rocket Man...suburban life gone bad.

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